My Safety Bubble

First.  I grew up with the Boogyman.  (I will write a post about this later because it's important) but for now just know that from age one til I was ten I lived in constant fear of my Stepfather.  After my Mom left him I was mostly unsupervised.  As were many kids back then.  I must clarify I'm not blaming anyone for how I feel I am just stating the facts as I know them.

So when you grow up with the Boogyman you learn to be afraid all the time.  Every move you make is scary.  And even though the Boogyman went away that fear is now a learned behavior.  So if you combine that with the fact that throughout the rest of my childhood I feel like I got lucky more than once, more than twice....at least a hundred times.

We've all asked ourselves the same question.  "How did I survive my childhood?"  Without helmets, seat belts, babysitters, fenced in yards or home alarm systems.  We went swimming alone, we walked the streets of whatever City we lived in from one end to the other alone, we slept in our houses at night with the windows open.....all these things and somehow we survived.

Yes.  I live in an overprotective safety bubble and I DO fear everything.  Things that are real and things that aren't real.  It's something I have to deal with on a daily basis.  And it's not been pleasant for the people in my life who have lived with me going to the worst possible case scenario that I can possibly think of.  So I have to try and balance it.

However.  If I know how to prevent something or do something better than why on Earth would I not do it?  If I know that seat belts save lives, and helmets save lives, than why would I not insist on them?  If I know that my 14 year old is old enough to babysit but that she does still have fear as the Sun goes down than why would I not hire someone to babysit so that she can be the kid that she deserves to be?  If I know that a child alone on the street is more likely to be taken why would I let that child play outside alone?  If I know that leaving doors unlocked in my house makes it easier for someone to get inside why wouldn't I lock them?  I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the point.  I don't let anyone make me feel bad for these everyday common sense decisions I make to keep my family safe.  It's just the way it is and if someone doesn't like it than I'm totally OK with that.

On the flip side I do have unrealistic fears all the time that interfere with my daily life.  Like the "boogyman" is standing behind me.  For instance when I'm driving and a plane flys over I am almost paralyzed.  I have trained myself to look away.  They freak me out!!!!  Also when my kids go with my parents...I lose control of the situation...and even though I know that they are safe I have little panic attacks over it.  If my husband has the kids and he is out for a long period of time I start to worry.  I worry worry worry worry all the time.  This is common for Mothers of course but in my case it's extreme.  I have worked on it a lot over the years.  And I've made progress.  I don't think I'll ever be fearless but at least I'm trying.

Sooooooo wether it's a Safety Bubble or the rules you live by or whatever it is.  There's a reason you live this way.  Maybe it's life experience, maybe it's something you learned later.  It's your gut instinct.  Your Heart of Hearts.  That little voice inside your head.  Doesn't matter.  It's your choice and no one gets to make you feel bad about it.