Don't Argue with ANYONE who's drunk!

OK most in most of my blogs I will try as much as I can to refer to myself.  I don't, I do, I like, I don't like......In this blog I will be talking to YOU.  Again I must emphasize that I am not telling you what to do or think.  I'm just telling you, from my experience, what I think your best options are.

Now.  If I had a top ten list of things to advise newly married couples this one would be number 1.  Here's the deal.  You cannot argue with someone who is drunk.  Well you CAN argue with them but it is literally the biggest waste of time in your life except for maybe sitting and staring at a blank wall willing it to change colors or open up a magic door or turn into a giant marshmallow.  You CAN do it but you will never get the result you are "looking" for.

Here's why.  Drunk people are idiots.  Wether they are a happy drunk, a mean drunk, a depressed drunk or an obnoxious drunk......they are an idiot.  This includes me.  I'm not at all immune to this dilemma.  So no matter what you say or do, a drunk person is never going to see it from your point of view.  You could have scientific data sitting in front of you that is signed by the President of the United States of America AND the American Surgeon General that says "Yes, the sky is blue" Or "Yes you absolutely need air to survive" Or "No you cannot eat rat poison without dying"  It does not matter what you are arguing about.  The drunk person is ALWAYS RIGHT.  AND the more you try to argue with them the worse it gets.

Now.  I've known this for a very long time but I still get sucked into this situation from time to time.  For instance if my husband is drunk and I don't like something he's doing or saying and I try to stop him I KNOW we are going to argue.  Iiiiiiii Dooooooooo it Anyyyywaaaaaaayyyyy.  Not all the time but yes oh yes I do.  And usually by the time he falls asleep I'm so mad at him I literally want to beat him with a pillow and wake him up over and over and over again until I'm sure that he is going to lose as much sleep as I am over whatever it is we were arguing about.

Sometimes this argument pops up unexpectedly and the next thing you know you are willing your husband to turn into a giant marshmallow so you can melt him into a rice krispie treat and then feed him to the dog.

These are temporary moments of insanity.  Wether you are the drunk person or the one arguing with the drunk person.......you're temporarily insane.  So what do you do?  Well you just don't argue with them. You have to get away and quickly.  If you can't get away then you have to use your imagination.  You can  stick a whole pack of bubble gum in your mouth so you can't say anything back.  If you don't have bubble gum you can sit there and try to picture them walking into work the next day with a giant booger hanging out of their nose.  But whatever you do......DONT ARGUE WITH THIS PERSON!!!  You CANNOT WIN.  Even if you are winning.

Now.  There are some very important exceptions to this rule.  If this person is in danger or putting someone else in danger than you of course are obligated to do whatever it takes to prevent anyone from getting hurt. You might have to call the police.  You might have to take their keys away from them.  You might have to tie their hands behind their back and stuff the Bubble Gum in their mouth.  Whatever it is if you have to take extreme measures to keep people safe that's OK.

But if it's just you and this person arguing about something that is either VERY important to both of you such as your kids, or something that's not as important like peeing on someone else's Pear tree, it's not worth the time and the anger you will feel.  Just wait til the next day.