I've asked a lot of people this question and some believe, some don't. Do I believe? YES! I believe whole heartedly in soul mates. Not just because I met mine and married him but because I've also experienced it in other ways.
However since it is our 15 Year Anniversary today I would like to start with my wonderful Husband Jay who is without a doubt my true soul mate. Just like we are all individuals and special in our own ways, Jays and my connection is truly unique. Of course I had experienced what I thought was love on several occasions before I met him. I can honestly say though that no matter how strongly I felt for anyone in my past I could never imagine myself walking down the isle and committing the rest of my whole life to them. It was always something I dreamed about and hoped would happen for me some day. I was never asked by anyone to walk down that isle. I think though that even if I had been I would have said no. Because somewhere deep down inside of me I knew I hadn't met the "One"
When I met him I knew instantly. There were fireworks, the World stopped and I think I even dropped my hamster......which didn't turn out well for him. My point is that once I met Jay there was nothing on this Earth that could have kept me away from him. And believe me when your young and in love there are lots of things that try to get in the way. Especially when you have very dysfunctional backgrounds like we both do. We have never broken up since the day we met almost 20 years ago. We've had many passionate, dramatic, heart crushing fights but there was never anything that could keep us from wanting to be together. He went on a business trip a week after we met. Before he left we promised each other that we wouldn't kiss anyone else. We talked on the phone every day and when he returned he had bought us matching tennis shoes in the American Flag theme. I thought it was such a cheesy thing to do at the time but I also thought it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me in my whole life. We still have our matching shoes. :D
Not only do I believe that there was some outside force that brought us together (my Aunts set us up on a blind date) but I also believe that that force is what keeps us together and strong. I can honestly say that even after 20 years with Jay I would not want to ever live one day of my life without him in it. He is the strongest, most loving and kindest person I've ever known. Now for some of you who know him well...you know he has a devilish side. But this side has also made a huge impact on who I am today. By the time I met Jay I had experienced so much pain in my life that I had a rock solid shell all around my heart and No One was allowed in. He was able to chip away at that shell and finally break it open so I could learn to love and be loved again. So I could learn to trust. He IS the reason I am a better person today. He never wavered in his love or commitment to me no matter how hard it was. He SAW the real person inside of me that no one else could see. And I believe that he was the only person who could see it. I think he was sent to me, specifically, to help me heal so I could have a wonderful life. His patients and love has shown me that I can share my heart and soul with someone and still be OK. Yes there will be aches and pains along the way but the strength gained from those aches and pains is priceless.
I always tell my girls "I picked your Daddy" And the reason I tell them that is because it's true. I am one of the most fertile woman on the planet. And No I did not save myself for marriage. So I could have had babies a long time ago with just about anyone I wanted to. I tell them that there is NO WAY I would have ever had babies with the wrong person. Who ever this person was it had to be someone very special who would be the best Daddy ever. And so I picked Jay.
Now for all of you non believers I ask you this? Just because you haven't found your human soul mate have you ever considered another soul mate? For instance my dog who passed away at the beginning of last Summer was for sure my Doggie soul mate. I've had lots of dogs and animals in my life but Mojo was The One. From the minute I brought him home he was my dog. He was always there for me. He was the one who put me to sleep every night when I was pregnant with Elizabeth. He also slept under her crib for the first 3 months of her life to protect her. When I was pregnant with Jelly I was very sick for the first 3 months of my pregnancy. Like in the bedroom, door closed, no one allowed in at all sick. I couldn't even be in the same room with Mojo because of his dog smell. Just for the record I couldn't stand the smell of my family either. My point is that when I kicked him out of my life for that 3 months he lost 5 pounds. He was so dismayed that he just sat outside the bedroom door and waited for me to get better. He stopped eating just like me. He stopped moving just like me. And when I finally got better and we were reunited he was right back to his happy Mojo self.
So I believe everyone has a soul mate. Look around your life. Maybe it's a pet. Maybe it's a close friend. Even if it's someone that was only a part of your life for a brief moment you know who it is. I feel like the luckiest person to have found my Human soul mate and my animal soul mate.
Do I think I have another soul mate? No. I do not believe that there is anyone in the whole entire Universe who could be more right for me than my Jay. I have these dreams where I'm not with him. I'm with some other guy and I'm in so much pain because I KNOW I'm suppose to be with someone else but I can't find him no matter how hard I look. I try to call him, I try to look for him. He's not there. And my heart is broken. Then I wake up and I'm so relieved to realize he's right here next to me. Even if I lost him right now there would still never be anyone who could fill his shoes. He is the only one who will ever have my heart AND SOUL.
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